Escapism
by Melellie
Summary: Warnings: Suicide. Relena had always had her demons. She made due with them. But one night, the demons take on the form of her love. How will she cope with it?


**Escapism**

By: Mellie

Warnings: Suicide, very dark.

Night was the time she feared the most. When she no longer could hold on to her facade of happiness her demons came to attack her. At times, Relena would cut away at a particularly ugly one and mar the perfection. She only shrugged at the wound. It was far less revolting than what had previously glared at her.

Standing before her mirror, she grazed the scars with tender fingertips. Nothing hovered before her eyes as she stared into the depths of haunted eyes. A smile pulled at her lips with the thought of spending a night free from them.

The air before her seemed to shift. Radiating from a center, a figure began to take shape. Relena held her breath, waiting to see what would disturb her this night. A look of surprise settled as the shape became none other than her past love Heero Yuy. "What do you want?" she whispered in fear.

The apparition said nothing, just reached a hand to touch her stomach. On it was the most prevalent, and fresh, wound. She jumped back, terrified of contact. Staring into his deep blue eyes, the thought of death entered her mind. He was enticing her to join him, step away from responsibility and savor freedom.

Her head shook with fervor, terror screaming from her eyes. Taking a few steps back, she tried to break the pull of his gaze. "No, I can't," she breathed.

Heero reached for her again, his hand outstretched as if asking her to dance. Her panicked mind jumped to their first dance. It had felt right, been natural. She longed to return to that time of peace and innocence. But a year had changed all that. Nothing had returned to the way it was. She was hardened, he was set free.

Shaking her head of the pleasant thoughts, Relena turned from him. It lasted a second before she returned to face him. Her body was frozen while her mind waded through muddled thoughts of possibility, hope, and alarm. "Please," his eyes begged of her.

Defeated, she fell to sit on the floor. Her resolve to live faded each moment that he was there. The heaviness of her thoughts dropped her head down. Tears mingled along her lower eyelashes. Soft drops fell to the beige carpeting as sobs began to shake the delicate frame.

Her head snapped up when shoes entered her line of vision. It took strength to look into his eyes and she almost gave in to the weakness flowing through freezing veins. Persuasion exuded from his being, his eyes locked on hers.

With a shaking wrist, she reached back to her bedside table for the blade. She held it in her hands, cradling the cool steel. She never tore her eyes from his as she positioned the blade's tip against her creamy skin. Tears gently caressed her skin before she made the entrance. A gasp passed her lips.

Her eyes closed and she pulled the blade half way up her forearm. Relena looked back at Heero, his eyes encouraging. She switched hands with the blade and traced her vein with the sharp metal. Leaning back against the bed, she languidly stared at him. He hovered before her, waiting for her soul and body to separate.

Light dimmed in her blue eyes. Pain, despair, isolation, and fear dissipated as an unnerving calm spread throughout her body. The throb of her abrasions dulled, making way to the realization of death. "Was it supposed to go this far?" she asked not to him, but herself.

Death had never been her thought. She was willing to live and endure the harsh reality set before her. One night with him, however, and she lost the resolve to keep it up. Her facade completely crumbled away and she was left with a deep set chill. Fear was the last emotion to ravish her before life gave way to death.

Slowly, her soul shrunk away from its cage and exited the body. There was nothing before her but startling white. Relena blinked desperately for sight, but it didn't come. Even in death she was alone. She sat and pulled her knees into her chest. Sinewy wrapped around her legs. The small peak her bent legs created became a makeshift pillow. Longing to cry, but appallingly unable, Relena gave into her new prison void of all emotions or senses. "Why, Heero? Why did you introduce me to this new agony?"

_**end**_


End file.
